Winners and Losers with Michael Rapaport: Tiger Woods (HBO)

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Loser: Tiger Woods.
So the Ryder Cup comes around, he gets left off the team,
he gets kicked out of the photo, and his highlight
of the whole weekend is a picture
with Paulina Gretzky. – Did you see this?
– MICHAEL: Yes. BILL:
Look at the look in his eye. -MICHAEL: No, he’s back!
-Yeah. To me, Tiger Woods, talking
about his back and his injuries, get a couple
of Paulina Gretzkys, let’s get it popping. We know
that’s what you want to do, we know how you get down. You’re a world class stick man. (CHUCKLES)
Right. He’s a world class coxman. We know what you wanna do,
Tiger. -We all want to live this way.
-Right. The gig is up, you were caught,
you were busted. The only way Tiger Woods
will go back to being Tiger Woods
is to unfold the loaf, and get it popping, get a yacht. He needs to get on some
Leonardo DiCaprio shit, -is what he needs to do.
-Right. He needs to get it,
and I guarantee you, he will get back to being
Tiger Woods, the golfer. So embrace the cocktail
waitresses. -Go nuts, man!
-Embrace the diner waitresses. Get crazy, Tiger Woods.
Stop trying to restrain yourself and God, and this– He’s a family man. You’re not a family man,
you’re an animal and so am I. (LAUGHTER) I’m not judging you. Get nuts,
Tiger Woods. Couple other possible fixes
other than that, what if he went to Eldrick? What if he just changed
his name? Like, it worked for Puff Daddy,
he went to Diddy and it kind of refreshed
his career. No, he doesn’t need
to do anything except -for start freaking off.
-Okay. That’s the only thing
that Tiger Woods needs to do. Would you allow him to do PEDs? Yeah, let him get on some
of that Barry Bonds, he’ll be good to go.

 

5 Responses

  1. oldfrend

    October 6, 2016 9:33 am

    i wouldn't be surprised if rappaport was right tho. tiger ain't bein tiger these days. he's so caught up with living the straight PR narrative he's forgotten how to be himself. if he plowed a couple paulina gretzkys i think he'd be back to prowling the back 9 on sundays in no time.

    Reply

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