STRETCH ARMSTRONG VS TRUMP

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(James) That’s off that’s really off (James) Welcome to the Amazon show (James) Amazon Show (Aleks) Last time we went to Walmart
(James) we went to Walmart (James) This week we’re back at Amazon again because we can never go too far away from the path I have uh (James) Multiple items that count as one item for you in here okay (Aleks) Dude, it’s a stretch Armstrong (James) That’s a stretch Armstrong (Aleks) What’s this? (James) I’ll take that, I’ll take take- alright okay (Aleks) What the heck is going on here dude. (James) They’re retro toys Dude look it’s a fucking Wooly Willy (Aleks) A wooly Willy. (James) you remember you take the magnet and you put it- (Aleks) Dude i wasn’t even born in this country what are you talking about (James) Oh fuck sorry 🙁 (James) These are pretty nice. These are um- (Aleks) I’ve only seen war *War echoing* *Sad ); *sad music and background air raid sirens* (James) Check this out look at this look at the look at the finger. Googly eyes. (Aleks) Why’d you open up my Gift (James) Cuz you got multiple dude. you could. Fuckin (James) Look (Aleks) congratulations purchase to the original stretch Armstrong please read all the information this manual thoroughly for operation instructions. (Aleks) And there’s like uh (Aleks) there’s a picture of a kid, just fucking stretching him. (James) you can wrap his arms around him, you could wrap his arms under him. (Aleks) ooh (James) Is he too hard to wiggle out of that. (Aleks) he feels weird. ooh stretch (Aleks) oooohh (James) Those things are fuckin heavy (Aleks) OOooh (James) Like what you’re working with here. I don’t break it. (Aleks) It’s a good stretch dude. (James) I don’t want to break him, PLEASE it’s Gonna fucking come back and hit me (James) NO!! (James) NO!!! X2 (James)Stop. Alright i’m not pulling it anymore. aww (Aleks) oh Shit. (James) I think brett would have appreciated this toy more. (Aleks) who tha fuck. (James) Wait what did you do, Did you fuck it open the whole thing up? (Aleks) Yeah. (James) You’re not supposed to do that (James) You’re supposed to use the stylus and like bring it up to his nose and make a mustache and stuff. (Aleks) That’s not what I want to do! (James) That’s not how you do it at all (James) Was it really that easy to break it? Oh my God that could be poison that could be like gunpowder P A I N (James) not yeah, this is for 3 ages 3 plus (Aleks) Got you something man. (James) did you get me a Stretch Armstrong this is it just one. (Aleks) yeah. (James) I Got you three. (Aleks) I get you three sometimes. (James) These (James) Dick Sandals kj(James) They don’t really feel like sandals. They just feel more like like just (James) Platforms, can you put on something like Scott music (Aleks) Yeah, it’s going right now *Scott music* (Aleks) I’ve never seen anyone have more fun with Sandals than you *Pat Pat Pat* (James) They’re pretty good. Can you just kick your feet up. (James) and there you go (James) Dick’s on my feet. you can poke somebody with that too (Aleks) Ow ): (James) this is it. This is my one. This is it. (Aleks) Yeah man *James laughing in a kind of are you fucking kidding me* (James) Okay um I guess I should probably (James) Get your actual your activity portion of my gift (Aleks) if it’s if it’s something (Aleks) Something too long or difficult I’m wanna break it again (James) Here it is homemade *Bang* *Bang X2* *Bang X3* *Bang X4* *Bang X5* *Bang X6* *Bang X7* *Bang X8* (Aleks) What’s this dude? (James) This is a homemade (James) Crafty device (James) Called the Putt ski here you go (James) Here you are (Aleks) What the heck? (Aleks) What the heck dude? (James) It’s putting skeeball (James) We even got this mini Putski key complete with the puck cam you put this bad boy down (James) You put your phone in here, and you can get some clear cut video and or pictures (James) What color would you like. (Aleks) Uh red (Aleks) What the hell do I do? (James) like if you put this down and (James) And do it (James) I think that’s supposed to be your hole and then you can you put it on to that and then this is like game number (James) Two (James) Were you recording? (Aleks) Yeah (James) you’re recording on the video. (Aleks) Yeah (James) It didn’t look very good or maybe you should just try this right here, and try this thing first (James) There you go. Yeah, maybe the mini Putts ski isn’t really working for you. That’s okay (Aleks) It’s pretty durable all right check out Grandpa’s cooking in this one (Aleks) Dude i need a other one? (James) Nice trick shot there. That was kind of cool. (Aleks) Dude, I’m too strong (James) Why don’t you let Trevor have a go at it? He’s probably better than you. (Trevor) Aaah (James) It’s cool. Cuz you can also play you can play skee-ball with it, too (James) Cuz it’s like multi-purpose. It’s putt and ski (James) I’m not very good at the the skee-ball part (James) Alright cool, man, you just just keep the golf course up and running then all the time (James) It’s here (James) For anyone that wants to play putt ski (James) Uhh (James) Putt ski for anyone that wants to play putt ski THAT WANTS TO PLAY PUTT SKI!! (James) For anyone that wants to putt ski (James) They can come over and play (James) They can come over and play a round of putt ski. I’m fucking done (James) What the fuck no, why did you do This did (Aleks) dude I didn’t (Aleks) Oh What the heck happened to him. (James) Give me my present? (Aleks) There’s been a lot of heat in this (Aleks) country I would say (Aleks) A lot of (Aleks) A lot of violence over the past few weeks (Aleks) And I just want I want you to be prepared (James) okay? (James) What tha fuck is all this (James) What is all this. (Aleks) your gonna have to put that on (James) oooh I see (James) Come on. What is this? I’m not a white belt. (Aleks) I was gonna order you a black belt, but it was expensive (James) I’m not a black belt either (Aleks) Ya getting ready. (James) I don’t know what I’m getting ready for I put two fingers in one hole. (Aleks) we’re going to Virginia (James) Virginia! (Aleks) You’re gonna give them a piece of your mind. (James) Ooh (James) What am I supposed to say (Aleks) Don’t do that? (James) Doesn’t doesn’t really help me. (Aleks) alright if you’re gonna protest you have to put this on (James) I’m gonna Protest. (Aleks) yeah. I mean they can’t recognize your face obviously we’re gonna have to do a little bit of training. (James) What am I training for are they violent? (Aleks) we’re going to have to practice with this first. (James) Fight ball? (James) what do I do with this (Aleks) put that on your head. (James) I fuckin look stupid doing this what the fuck is this this isn’t how you actually use this is it? (Aleks) Yeah (James) alright (Aleks) I think all the protesters. I mean they they went home. They couldn’t handle your (Aleks) Uuuuuhhhh (Aleks) Abilities to resist resist racism and ignorance however there is still one enemy. (James) yea fuck that shit *dramatic music* (Aleks) we have to stuff it (James) the hell is he Gonna stuff that with (Aleks) who are you (Aleks) Dude no you it has stop to be be like clothing and shit (Aleks) Doing the opposite of helping
(James) ready to take these terrorists down (Aleks) All right James. Are you ready to fight your opponent? (James) Yes (James) OH THAT MAKES ME SO MAD *James powering up* (Aleks) this guy’s pretty, (Trump) this guy’s pretty these guys pretty tough (Trump) he’s *Aleks breaking character* (Trump) You better be careful wise guy. (James) I’ve seen him look up at the solar eclipse with his bare eyes (James) He’s fuckin strong (Trump) That was fake news (James) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH (James) AAWWW *outro moo* (Aleks) Hey guys (Aleks) Thanks for watching this episode of Amazon make sure to tune in next week where we do some other crazy things on this channel (Aleks) Hit that motherfucking subscribe button (Aleks) Check out this video if you want and buy some of our merch. We got a lot of sick Merch at the the merch store (Aleks) Because that’s what capital is all about you know spend that money where (Aleks) Where you want.

 

100 Responses

  1. Darrian Hensley

    September 6, 2017 12:54 pm

    James: why don't you let trevor have a go at it.
    Trevor: *hits the ball bounces back and hits his dick.
    xD

    Reply
  2. CCzarMasta56

    September 9, 2017 11:12 am

    Now, whenever something fucked up happens in the world, I want James to come out, in his karate gear and go "Don't do that."

    Reply
  3. Psychobot

    September 27, 2017 7:01 am

    This is random as fuck but when Aleks has war flashbacks the music playing is the save room music from The Evil Within.

    Reply
  4. andy

    October 5, 2017 8:21 am

    remember when alexs climbed down a tree at the hotel and james tried helping and wanted him to be safe, and he was being followed since he was running around at night and climbing trees

    Reply
  5. MrCoolSmoovie

    January 16, 2018 10:53 am

    Todd: The person reasonable for fallout
    Watches in horror as he watches his whole company get raped by mods

    Reply
  6. Phonix

    May 27, 2018 6:51 pm

    This is why i love cow chop, even when making a joke involving politics, they keep it at a level thats enjoyable by all

    Reply
  7. NickTrix

    July 26, 2018 8:04 am

    i came back and noticed that the music when aleks is having the ptsd flashback is the same as in the godzilla trailer.

    Reply
  8. FrozeGFX

    October 30, 2018 3:24 am

    : ) I love Aleks. he helps me get through me getting bullied for migrating from Poland to the USA and I get called an immigrant everyday :/ ty Aleks for making me laugh!

    Reply
  9. swagmaster owen

    December 24, 2018 8:33 pm

    aleks you know you dont have to follow throughb soekjt hard s with the ball ur kinda killing i tthere bro like calm down bro like what did the ball bro like calm donw like i came here for putski gameplay then we got a kid like you who gotta come in here and ruin it damn you aleks dan you to hel

    Reply
  10. aiven reyes

    February 14, 2019 1:31 am

    Can I just say how they have an ad when literally there is inappropriate things I really just don’t understand

    Reply
  11. Marcus Gonzalez

    May 27, 2019 2:50 pm

    I just realized the music that starts playing at 10:10 is the same one that plays when James got his first knife.
    Still wondering what that song is called.

    Reply

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