Ozzy Man Reviews: WTF Happened in August 2019

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August 2019. It’s the month Jacob Pina and his 5-inch thumb took the internet by storm. I always thought 5 inches looked average, but it looks huge here. He can toggle a joystick, swipe to the right, and obliterate a regular thumb in open field thumb combat. Here’s a dog with a butterfly on its nose. There’s a lot we can learn from this big news story. I don’t know what it is, but yeah I’m confident there’s a lot we can learn. Mattresses decided to go “fuck this, we are sick of being sat on, laid on, sweated on, sex’d on, pissed on, shat on, menstruated on and vomited on. We quit. We’re gonna start a new city. Yeah nah yeah the City of Mattresses will be a utopia of cleanliness. This is how ya make sound FX for a Mortal Kombat game. (Squeezing and crushing fruits and vegetables). Here’s a crow getting a pat. Or is it a rabbit? Nah it’s a crow. Nah it’s a rabbit. It’s a rabbit-crow crossbreed. Very rare. It can run super-duper fast and fly. It can bite your ankles or peck your eyes out. It’s highly evolved. Ah shit, I dunno what it is. Here’s the scene of a car crash. Luckily, actor Danny Trejo was nearby to help get a baby out that was trapped. That kid will grow up and be like “yeah, bloody Machete saved me in real life one time. No big deal. He’s a good bloke.” I’m keen to see how Jonny Cash will go in his new career as a clown. That is just so fucken intriguing. We got a trailer for a Breaking Bad movie. It doesn’t show us much, but I’ll take what I can get. The Matrix 4? The Matrix 4! Ok, again, I’ll take what I can get. Here’s a garbage man delivering a cake to an old sheila. This one wins the most wholesome video of the month award. (Singing Happy Birthday to you). Garbage man: “Make a wish, to live to 205” Old sheila: “Shut up!” Technology stopped taking itself so seriously, which is great, technology and computers have done a lot for us, they deserve to let their hair down, get on the piss, and have a ripper of a dance off. Congrats to this guy Vincent on being the only passenger on a plane. This would be a dream come true. Look at all that fucken leg room. Sleep wherever ya like. Crikey, sleep in the cockpit. You don’t have to hustle to get on the plane. This is a huge life achievement. These cops are like “you troublemakers have to leave, you’re too noisy.” The troublemakers reply “what if we get the ball in from half court.” The cops say “alright, you can stay if you do that.” (Celebrating). Aw eat a bag of dicks they did it! You gotta stick to ya word, let ‘em disturb the peace all night long. Anyway, what else happened in August? Aw yeah the Amazon rainforest wouldn’t stop burning, a billionaire pedo jumped off the planet, protests in Hong Kong continued, Conor McGregor apologised for punching a geriatric in a pub, and a butterfly sat on a dog’s nose. Oh, I already talked about that one. Fuck. There’s something to learn from it. I dunno what it is yet, but… there’s something here. Something deep and profound and just fair dinkum awesome.

 

100 Responses

  1. Q Electron

    September 9, 2019 7:26 am

    Unsubscribed. Luckily a fine Shelia pointed out what a garbage SJW you are. What fancy. Letโ€™s cuss and have a dance off Crikie.

    Reply
  2. Saptarshi Roy

    September 9, 2019 12:35 pm

    Hey ozzyman you should review the video of a pet penguin in japan..it would be fun..pls do it..it is 10yrs old video..

    Reply
  3. Potta's World

    September 9, 2019 5:46 pm

    I've run out of DIC!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! Can't wait for the next one. Every time I watch an Ozzyman video I see DiC now though lol….

    Reply
  4. Hairy Hiker

    September 11, 2019 5:35 am

    Youโ€™re literally the only YouTube fucker that I keep the bell on! You make my face hurt! Keep it up you gorgeous twat

    Reply
  5. Ruben Davila

    September 11, 2019 7:37 pm

    Did anyone else notice the guy getting taken out in the background by the inflatable mattresses ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  6. Mushroom Elm

    September 12, 2019 5:53 pm

    The guy who had his own flight..Did not have his own flight. The plane ended up never taking off and he was transferred to another flight. So sad.

    Reply
  7. Dick Jokes And Bondo

    September 13, 2019 3:56 am

    To all the naysayers, the butterfly and the dog is a reminder that everything is going to be just fine. โค๏ธ

    Reply
  8. Cheryl Leanne

    September 21, 2019 10:23 am

    A tradie deliver a cake to an old Sheila๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Reply
  9. NIgHTMaReFortyTwo

    September 25, 2019 1:32 am

    "So that's what things would be like if I'd invented the fing-longer. [Sigh]. A man can dream though. A man can dream…"

    Reply
  10. Freezy JZL

    September 26, 2019 2:02 am

    I can't be the only who realises that he's making fun of Daily Dose Of Internet with the dog and butterfly ahahah

    Reply
  11. M H

    October 4, 2019 9:19 am

    The only guy on a plane didn't actually happen. The plane never left the ground. https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/man-chronicles-private-jet-experience-customer-delta-flight/story?id=64948750

    Reply
  12. Mark Arnott

    October 4, 2019 10:19 pm

    Destination Fucked cheers! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฅ‡๐Ÿฆ˜๐Ÿจ ๐Ÿฆ˜wanna root skip ๐Ÿ‘? ๐Ÿฑโ€๐Ÿim out

    Reply
  13. Mark Arnott

    October 4, 2019 10:27 pm

    ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ’ป ๐Ÿฆ˜An old clip >> a Fat Farmer guy sneaks into there camp & puts all their toothbrushes up his Fat ass & takes a lot pics on there Camera A week later back home shes looking at the developed PHOTOS & YELLS OUT TO HER B/F who's brushing his Teeth Noooo! haa so funny seen this ages ago somewhere?

    Reply
  14. Parsnip Mcgee

    October 6, 2019 7:25 am

    I have never encountered anyone who swears more than me. Much love, you rip-roaring twat mouth!

    Reply
  15. Ben Jamin

    October 6, 2019 9:34 am

    The doggo even cut his own nose lick short to not scare or harm the butterfly, maybe we should let doggos run the world.

    Reply
  16. Ryan Clayton

    October 7, 2019 12:03 pm

    Way to keep neutral mate…..support Greta while mocking her…..in Canada you would be called a HOSER

    Reply
  17. ytwdh

    October 7, 2019 5:17 pm

    Ozzy, you're freakin' awesome.
    I love Lucy.
    I'm jealous that you get to work with her.
    When you're voicing DiC, do they animate your eyes and movements to fall together AFTER you've done the voicing?

    Reply

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